Editor's note: Okay, so I was too lazy to properly format this post and also wanted to do the news a bit differently. Let me know how you like it.

The reporter Polehaus53 stood in front of the camera. Behind him stood a large poster of the Odyssey Obsessors logo.

Camera operator ASmouseInTheHouse gave him the thumbs up that they were ready to film the latest Odyssey news roundup. The website had been slacking lately in consistent posts and major news items, so a video would hopefully make it up to the followers.

He took a deep breath, referred to his notes, and began to speak. “Milk. Butter. Eggs. Cheese. Rice. Onions. Bread… These are the latest news items which have come up…wait, what?!” He stared at the paper. “What is this?”

“That would be our shopping list,” ASmouseInTheHouse called from behind the camera.

“Whoops.” He picked up another piece of paper. “We do need to go to the store, though. And come to think of it, there’s also a ton of other things going on that we need to do.”

“No kidding. So hurry up and try again.”

Polehaus53 cleared his throat and looked at the camera. “Greetings and salutations! A few news items have come up, so I’ll be going through them in this video. First of all, the title, artwork, summary, and Club release date for Album 74 was revealed by the AOI Team themselves! It’s a picture of Eugene, Whit, Connie, Renee, Buck, Jules and Wooton on a rollercoaster screaming. AIOWiki has also given us the episode titles for the album. And the official cover art, you know, the one with the border for the album, has been revealed. It’s purple and it says “six stories on growth and maturity.” You can preorder it on CBD. Secondly, the Mulligan family will be getting their own book series in the near future! ASmouseInTheHouse made a post about that, so be sure to check that out.”

Long pause as he stared at the note paper.

“Oh, and finally, the next book in the Imitation Station book series has been revealed. Its cover art is a picture of Patrick and Beth riding a mammoth and being chased by Goliath. It will be titled “Land of the Lost” and will be released on April 4, 2023. Uh, be sure to pre-order it from Amazon and CBD. That’s all the latest news!” he gasped for breath and scanned the paper again. “Uh, yeah, stop recording. I think that’s everything. Was there anything else?”

ASmouseInTheHouse shrugged and stopped the video. “Don’t ask me, Mr. Newsman.”

“Oh. Well, I think that’s mostly everything. The problem is that if we release this video, we can’t go back and make any edits or add details–“

“Forget adding details, that was terrible!”

“What?!” Polehaus53 yelled. “Why, what did I do?”

“You said ‘A-O-I’ team.”

“It was a verbal typo.”

“You also called the Imagination Station ‘the Imitation Station’.”

“Whoops.”

“And that was a terrible description of the book’s cover art! Being chased on a mammoth by Goliath?”

“Well, I didn’t have a picture, so I had to describe it.”

“Not to mention you stopping for thirty seconds to read the notes.”

“You expect me to memorize all that?!”

“Well, at least try to show some more enthusiasm. And you talked so fast I couldn’t understand most of it.”

Polehaus53 groaned. “And this is why we don’t have a podcast. Anything else I could do differently?”

“You could get a haircut, and maybe change–“

“Do we want to redo it?” he interrupted.

“Will you get it right?”

“Maybe after thirty more takes.”

“And how are we supposed to include links in a video with our terrible technical skills?”

There was a silence. It was only broken when a gust of wind caused the poster of the Odyssey Obsessors logo to fall over with a crash.

“This isn’t going to work, is it?” Polehaus53 asked.

ASmouseInTheHouse shrugged. “I mean, it could, it would just take a while.”

“Yeah, but we don’t have time. That settles it. Looks like we’re back to typing up posts on the site. This was fun.”

“The camera battery is dead, anyway.”

After picking up their mess, the two website authors went on their way to the store. They accidentally brought the news notes instead of the shopping list, so they tried unsuccessfully to find AIO albums for sale at the supermarket. They were, however, able to find plenty of Fizzy Cola, Greasly Chips, and birdhouses; all of which were a great deal.

Well, there you have it. How did you like this thing I wrote? Would you be interested in seeing more posts like this in the future? Feel free to leave a comment!

Oh, and here are the links for everything reported here:
Pre-order Album 74 from CBD!
Pre-order the next Imagination Station book from CBD and Amazon!
The post about the Mulligan family book series.

We'll hopefully be doing a few more consistent posts soon, so stay tuned!

-Signed, Polehaus53
Advertisement